Day Trip: Fire Island

(click for more photos)

Every New Yorker knows that while the city is amazing, there comes a time when we need to leave, explore other places and rejuvenate. That time happens about, oh, every couple of months. Whether it's a day trip, a long weekend upstate or a week in St. Lucia, it's necessary to slow down and recharge our batteries. I've always said the mayor should set up a vacation fund for New Yorkers and require that we get out of the city every 60 days. At least.

First stop: total relaxation at...Fire Island! Only 60 miles from NYC is a 30-mile long, 1/2 mile-wide pristine oasis. The only way to get there is by ferry as cars aren't allowed on the island. There are many different towns to visit, some much more lively than others. Ocean Beach is the unofficial capital of Fire Island with lots of bars, restaurants and shopping. I prefer the quiet areas, like Sunken Forest at Sailors' Haven, where there are people around, but most are a half-mile down the beach. It's lovely.

Sunken Forest is great because not only do you get to enjoy the beach, you have the option to meander along a nature walk with 300-year old trees on your way to the beach. There are also a variety of animals to spot in the forest (they hang out in the "sunken" part, you're safe), including the big deer I saw on my last visit. And during the summer the MTA offers getaway packages, making the trip cheaper.

Ready to get to the deer and the beach? Here's how:
• Take the LIRR from Penn Station (34th St/8th Ave) or if in Brooklyn, from Atlantic Terminal (Atlantic Ave/Barclays Center subway station) to SAYVILLE. It's on the Montauk line and you may need to transfer--the conductor punching tickets on board will tell you. (Time: about 1.5 hours)
• Once in Sayville there are "taxis"--which are actually small shuttle buses--waiting at the train station to take you to the ferry. (Time: 10 minutes)
• The ferry will take you to Fire Island. (Time: 20 minutes)
• Once off the ferry, you can go to the left and get food, straight to go directly to the beach and/or restrooms or go to the right and walk through the Sunken Forest, which also takes you to the beach
• Last step: sweet, sweet relaxation...

Unwritten Rules of Being a New Yorker

Want to be a New Yorker for a day? Follow these unwritten rules and you'll fit in just fine:

1. Walk fast. We walk at a much faster pace than the rest of the country and have mastered the art of weaving in and out of crowds with ease.
2. Talk fast. Or rather, we like to get to the point. We're very blunt and don't spend a lot of time on niceties and small talk. The advantage? A plethora of interesting conversations.
3. Move over. When we're done paying at a store, we slide over to put away change and receipts so as not to keep the next customer waiting.
4. Keep walking. When we get to the top of subway stairs we keep moving, even if we're unsure of our direction. This also applies at street level.
5. Step to the side. If we need to look at a map or other directions we'll step to the side, we don't stand in the middle of fast-flowing sidewalk traffic.
6. Walk staggered. When walking with friends or family we walk staggered, not in a line. There's not enough room here to sprawl.
7. Holding hands. We often don't with our significant other. It's not uncommon for us to walk between a couple if that's the fastest route to maneuver through a crowd.
8. Tiny spaces. We've mastered the art of cramming into teeny tiny apts, shoe-boxed sized restaurants and crowded subway cars. The photo above shows how we read our newspapers on the train: fold, fold, fold.
9. Don't block subway doors. We know that when the subway doors open we move away from them by either stepping out of the car or moving to the center of the train.
10. Hailing a cab. We don't whistle or yell "taxi," like in the movies. We stick our arm up, hand raised and voila! Taxi.
11. Overpriced. We accept we're paying $45 for a steak (just the steak) and $16 for a martini because the restaurant has to pay their overpriced rent, as real estate is at a premium (okay, an extreme premium) here.
12. Lines. We know to stand in one line at drug stores, department stores and fast food places and wait for an employee at one of the many registers to yell "next, step down."
13. Waiting for the light to change. We know to stand on the street next to the curb, not on the curb itself. Time is precious and this way we're one step closer to our destination.
14. Eating pizza. We know that a whole pizza is called a "pie," a single piece is a "slice," just cheese is a "plain" (possibly the most popular), and we fold our slice in half (lengthwise) before digging in.
15. Neighbors. We usually don't know our neighbors. We mind our own business and stay out of theirs. We may live next to someone for 5 years and couldn't pick them out of a line up - and after being surrounded by a multitude of people all day, that's just fine by us. So if we don't give you a warm smile and say "Hi!" don't be offended. It's not personal, it's just New York.

16. The end. We know time is of the essence so...enjoy the rest of your day!

We Heart NY. A lot.

When I moved to New York in 2000, I didn't think it was possible to live in a place with as much pride as my native Texas. Man, was I wrong. New Yorkers loooooove their city. You can live here 5 years or 5 decades and if someone bashes the city a New Yorker will quickly come back with 20 reasons why it's the greatest place in the country, if not the world.
It's often said you have to earn the right to call yourself a New Yorker. And while rewarding, it's a difficult place to live, so once you prove you're not only tough enough to survive, but can follow a set of unwritten rules, you may indeed call yourself a New Yorker.
The following is a hilarious exchange from "How I Met Your Mother" that demonstrates just how much passion we have for our city.

Season 3, episode 2 "We're Not From Here". (Ted and Barney pose as tourists to pick up a couple of NY women. To their dismay, the women have taken them to do tourist things all day, and now they've just survived a mugging. Thankful to be alive, the women suggest they all go back to their place and "celebrate.")

Barney: So, where do you live?
Ted: What, West Village?
Girl #1: Close. West Orange.
Ted: West Orange...New Jersey?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Ted: You guys live in New Jersey, not New York?
Barney: Theodore.
Girl #1: Yup.
Ted: New Jersey?
Barney: Teddy.
Girl #1: Yeah, but don't worry, it's pretty much New York.
Ted: Oh no. Oh no.
Barney: Oh no.
Ted: New Jersey is not 'pretty much New York.' You are not 'pretty much New Yorkers.'
Girl #1: And how would you know?
Ted: Because I live here. That's right! I live here. Yes, we're full of crap. Yes, we pretended to be from out of town so we could sleep with you and leave in the morning. But you know what's even worse than that? Saying you're a New Yorker when you're not. Because this is the GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD and you have to earn the right to call yourself a New Yorker. So why don't you girls crawl into the open sewer pipe you call the Holland Tunnel and flush yourselves back to 'pretty much New York.' Because I will do A LOT to get laid, but I am NOT going to New Jersey!

Yep, that 'pretty much' sums it up. (signing off from Brooklyn - definitely New York)

NYC: Myth vs. Fact

A friend of a friend visited NYC and decided, after one day, she didn't like it. At all. The reasons? Because NYers were "rude," she didn't feel "safe," and everything was "expensive." Like with any big city, those are valid concerns, but had she taken the time to read up a little on NYC  or even ask her friend some questions, she may have had a different experience. Below are some common NYC myths I'd like to dispel:

1. NYers are rude. FACT: NYers are direct and aggressive. If you ask for directions we'll happily give them to you. But then that's it, we're done. NYers don't care why you're going there or if your cousin went there last year and really liked it - we have things to do, places to be.

2. The subway isn't safe. FACT: The subway is, for the most part, safe. Just pay attention - to signs and those around you - and hold onto your bag (purse) and phone. 2am-6am is usually the most "unsafe" time since less people are riding, but even then, very few incidents take place.

3. Your purse/bag will be stolen. FACT: Not likely if you 1) firmly grip said item when walking 2) keep item by your feet, not on the back of a chair at restaurants 3) pay attention to your surroundings instead of the tall buildings. Observe, if you will, the little girl in the photo above clutching both bags, she knows what's up. So put away the fanny packs and stop wearing the backpack across your chest - we (probably) won't steal your bag.

4. The city never sleeps. FACT: The city naps - or rather, power naps. Yes it's loud here and our city "bird" very well may be the siren, but between 2-6am there's a lull in the amount of people and noise as commuters go home and most businesses close. However, last call is 4am so if you chose not to sleep, head to the nearest bar to find wide awake, noise-making compadres.

5. You can't visit inexpensively. FACT: You can if you know some tricks because yes, it's generally an expensive city. Try a bed & breakfast, a cheaper alternative to pricey hotels. As for food, there are many reasonably-priced restaurants, just browse the menus posted outside. Also, get half-price Broadway tickets the day of the show. There are many more tips, but those are a few to get you started.

6. All NYers have fabulous, Sex and the City lives. FACT: Not even close. If you're lucky enough to have a trust fund, a very (very) high-paying job or you don't mind swimming in credit card debt then yes, that lifestyle can be yours round the clock. Otherwise you learn to budget like anywhere else, and pick and chose your extravagances.

7. NY taxis aren't safe. FACT:  They're as safe as a roller coaster and roughly the same experience. Since drivers work for tips they're eager to get to the next fare so...buckle up! And don't worry about them not staying in their lane, we don't believe in lanes. However, we do believe in aggressive merging and cutting people off to get to our destination faster.

8. "If I can make it here..." refers to career only. FACT: It takes a special kind of person to live in NYC. You have to put up with a lot of noise, hoards of people, crowded subway cars, tiny living spaces, outrageous rents, $20 burgers. Not to mention possibly the largest crowd of aggressive, type-A, overachievers ever assembled. You want that account executive job? So do 843 other people. Good luck with that.

9. All NY Italians are in the mob. FACT: If you're looking for Goodfellas, you'll have to rent the movie. Stop by Little Italy and the picture looks quite different: older men in track suits with grey chest hair peeking out under gold chains and stark white sneakers. They're probably smoking cigars and discussing the goings-on of the block, not plotting who's next to "swim with the fishes. A mob like the old days? Fuggedaboutit.

10. Everything happens in a "NY minute." FACT: There's actually a lot of waiting. NYers certainly walk at a faster pace and expect things to happen yesterday, but we also spend a lot of our time waiting. Because not only does NY looks like a movie set, it functions like one too. You hurry up...and wait. For the train, in long lines at the store, an hour for a table at brunch. When 8.2 million people want the same thing at once, well...see you in line!

Remember, when traveling you don't have to agree with the nature of the people or their customs, but trips are more pleasant when you understand why things happen the way they do. It's the whole "when in Rome" thing. Except first, you'll need to learn about "Rome." Now if you'll excuse me, I have a line to wait in. When in Rome...

Pros and Cons of Living in NYC

(more photos)

I was talking to a friend recently who lives in New Jersey and is trying to find an apartment in Manhattan. So far it's been 3 months and he's no closer to becoming a New York resident. He's dealt with countless sleazy brokers, apartments promised to him that were given to others, and endless hours viewing misrepresented properties. He asked, "Is living in New York really worth all this?" Yes, yes it is. And here's why: for all the agida New York gives you, it also rewards you with people, activities, and opportunities that are hard to find elsewhere. Of course agida and rewards are relative so, to each his/her own. But I've compiled a pros and cons list based on my 9 1/2 years as a New York resident. Perhaps it will help you decide: is New York really worth it?

Pros:
1) Diversity of people. When my sister visited she said, "You can't walk 2 blocks without hearing a different language." It's a global culture lesson everyday.
2) Diversity of food. Due to the melting pot-ness of NYC, you can find just about any kind of food you want. From the cheap kind to the one-month mortgage kind.
3) Culture. Museums, galleries, concerts, readings, theater, dance, independent film...
4) History. New York has a unique history of immigrants, music, art, literary legends, politics, architecture, finance...
5) Walking. We are a pedestrian city. This allows you to see the sights and interact with others daily. You also stumble upon things you wouldn't in a car. And, you have a built-in gym.
6) European-ish. Outdoor cafes, pedestrian-centric, public transportation, specialty food shops, food and coffee carts, boutiques, delis, appreciation of the arts and travel.
7) Career opportunities. Many headquarters are located here and you always seem to meet someone who knows someone.
8) Fashion. NYC is one of the 4 host cities of Fashion Week. You can find anything you want here. And fun fact: even the comfortable, casual clothes and shoes are stylish.
9) Delivery. My mom thought I was kidding when i said, "I'm waiting for my breakfast to be delivered." We get everything delivered: meals, dry cleaning, pet supplies, groceries. We're spoiled.
10) Opinions. New Yorkers are extremely opinionated and not afraid to vocalize. What's great is that you can call someone an idiot, agree to disagree, and then go for a beer together.

Cons:
1) It's expensive. $2300 a month for a 450-square-foot apartment - to rent. $15 for a hamburger, without fries. $100+ a month gym memberships. $igh...
2) It's loud. Screeching subway wheels, screaming subway car announcements, jackhammers, fire trucks, ambulances, car horns, trash and other loud trucks barreling down your quaint street at night, noisy neighbors, car stereos. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
3) It's abusive. Most of us don't have cars so our bodies take quite a beating. We carry lots of bags, climb lots of subway stairs, and basically tire ourselves out daily being our own car.
4) It's constantly changing. Just when you've found your favorite little wine bar, it closes. Because here it's all about what's hot now, so good luck to your little wine bar.
5) It makes you entitled and impatient. NYers are taught to ask for what we want, how we want it and when we want it. That usually turns out to be: everything, perfect and now.
6) It requires major scheduling. We're known to have 3 places to be in one night, so plans are often made 2 months in advance - just to have a drink.
7) It's overload. We pride ourselves on keeping current with everything under the sun. Weekly magazines, blogs, email blasts from friends. There's always something to do (good!), a new artist to know (fun!), but it can be information overload (exhausting!).
8) It's career centric. We are career obsessed and work insane hours. One of the first questions people ask upon meeting is "What do you do?" and often you're judged from that answer.
9) The 35-hour day. We try to cram as much as possible into every day. A workout at 5am, followed by a 8am-7pm workday, then drinks, dinner, a band, and bedtime at 1am. Even crazier? We wear our schedules like a badge of honor.
10) Public transportation. Actually a pro and a con. Pros: no car worries, lots of reading time. Cons: having to hear what normally would go on in 100 people's cars. Loud music, loud talking, loud children. People begging for money, people playing bad music for money. Train delays, construction, rerouting, sweltering platforms due to no a/c in the summer, packed-like-sardines train cars in the winter.

A friend of mine who used to live here says New York is a set of scales. Sometimes it tips to the good and sometimes to the bad, you just have to figure out which way it tips more often. Which is like any place, really, but New York is so in-your-face that the good and bad are more amplified.

So in the end, is New York really worth it? Well, 8.2 million of us say a resounding "YES!" (Yeah, that was us on the train, while you were trying to relax, after a 20 hour day...)

Celebrities in NY

Here's how NYers feel about celebrities: eh, whatever. I think it's a combination of we've seen it all so nothing phases us, we're too self-involved to care and, most importantly we have to play it cool because we're expected to. But secretly...we want to run up, ask for an autograph and a picture. Depending on who it is, of course. We "casually" tell our friends "i was walking to work today, sipping my coffee and had my usual Famke Janssen sighting." In fact, that's an actual conversation that a coworker and I have quite frequently, since she lives around the corner from the office. "Was she walking her dog?" Yep. "Did she have on her big sunglasses?" Of course.
They do a good job of blending in, picking up dog poop, smiling at the common folk. There's no entourage and no visible paparazzi. It's a refreshing change from what you see in LA, which is one reason why celebs who want to be left alone live in NYC.

It's always interesting what happens when you're with a visitor who doesn't know the "stay cool" rule. I've been pulled by my arm to see Yoko Ono getting out of a car in Soho. I've been hit on the arm to turn my head and see Meg Ryan filming on the Upper Easnt Side. I've been repeatedly tapped on my arm to see Philip Seymour Hoffman as I was enjoying bruch alfresco in The Village. Basically my arm has taken a lot of abuse for the sake of celebrity sightings. Stay cool, people, stay cool.

I was mortified when a friend ran over to Matthew Broderick on the street after we had just seen him in The Producers, pulled him over to our group and said "Mindy, take our picture!". I asked if that was okay. He said "Yes - and thank you for asking." I can't imagine that happening all the time, just because you do a job where everyone knows who you are it gives the world complete access to you? It's just odd logic.

Now don't get me wrong, NYers are plenty interested in celebrities and celebrity goings-on. We read Perez and Gawker, text about who we just saw and where, but there's no hyper-crazed fan action. And if it exists, we keep it to ourselves. Until we get back to work and gush to our coworker about seeing Jake Gyllenhaal at the deli 5 minutes ago and how we didn't know who it was until we had to squeeze past him and how he looked like he was going to play basketball and how insanely hot he was and how we're forgetting to breathe or use punctuation. Being the good friend that she is she played the giddy teenaged fan right there with me.

I've found that the stay cool rule applies until you find yourself standing near one of your favorite actors, from your favorite movie. A 20-year talent crush in the making. And there he is, at Dean & Deluca, picking out vegetables, 3 feet away. The actor: John Malkovich, the movie: Dangerous Liasons. I realized that my mouth was hanging open and I was blatantly staring for a good 15 seconds. So much for the cool NYer. I wanted to say "Do you know how talented you are?! Do you know you were in my favorite movie?" But I realized all he wanted to do was find a fresh tomato, leave the poor man alone.

So if you see a celebrity in NYC, remember to stay cool, that's why they live here. They want to blend and not be harassed. But, um, if you happen to see Jake Gyllenhaal at the deli around the corner call me immediately. I mean...not that I care. You know, whatever. (Call me!)

The Brooklyn Bridge

For all the shopping, restaurants, and entertainment in NYC, one of my favorite things to do is to simply put on U2's "Beautiful Day" and walk across the Brooklyn Bridge. Into the city, home from the city, doesn't matter. As long as I'm on the bridge, all seems right with the world. There are no cars (pedestrian walk is elevated), you're over the water, and there are beautiful views everywhere you look. What's not to love?

The 25-minute walk into the city feels like several "wish you were here" postcards. To the left: the Statue of Liberty and downtown Manhattan. To the right: the Empire State Building and the Chrysler Building. Hanging out for the duration of your walk? The Manhattan Bridge, just to the north.

There's something very "old NY" about the Brooklyn Bridge. Maybe it's the way the grandness of the arches mixes with the simplicity of the wood planks beneath your feet. You can almost imagine it on opening day, 1883: women in long dresses and gloves strolling with men in suits and hats. Then there are the boats. Ferries, cargo ships, luxury cruise liners, water taxis, tour boats, sailboats. It takes you back to a time when water was a primary means of travel and transportation of goods.

I never feel more like a NYer than when i'm on the Brooklyn Bridge. As I'm surrounded by tourists who are in awe of it's beauty and the views I often think "Wow, i'm lucky enough to live in what they're taking home in photographs." Kinda cool.

Ready to create your own bridge memories? Here are directions, along with visitor tips:

• Take the 6 train to Brooklyn Bridge/City Hall. the entrance to the bridge is outside the station. You can also take a number of trains to stops close by. It's very narrow at the bottom of the island and the bridge is only a short walk away.
• Be aware there's a pedestrian lane and a bike lane. The lanes are marked: bikes to the left, pedestrians to the right. Bikes come very fast, DON'T walk in their lane.
• Stay single file or staggered, don't walk several people across. Being NYC, there are lots of people and not a lot of room, so please be kind to other tourists and residents.
• Least crowded time? Before 9am. You'll find a few NYers and a few tourists.
• Most crowded time? Sunset. You'll find every. single. tourist.
• There's great pizza and ice cream on the Brooklyn side

Wish you were here...

xo,
The Brooklyn Bridge